St. Mary Grade School.  First Grade.  Sr. Rosarita sends one of her students to Sr. Stella’s third grade class.  Her mission:  to procure a pair of scissors.

Sr. Stella, happy at the interruption, stops her class and asks the student her name.

“My real name is Patricia, but my nick nack name is Patty.”  The class breaks into laughter, much to my chagrin.  I had no idea what they were laughing at.  The nick nack had come from the childhood song, This Old Man, “with a nick nack paddy whack give the dog a bone.”  Seemed right to me.   My brother sat in the back of class trying to hide from embarrassment.  From that time on I was PattyNickNack to the third-grade class.

Saint Names

As a child I loved reading lives of the saints so was disappointed when I couldn’t find my name, Patricia, among the annals.  The sisters had encouraged us to learn about our patron saint.  I opted for St. Patrick, reading about his adventures chasing snakes out of Ireland much like the Pied Piper had chased away rats, and, of course, Mary from my baptismal name. At the time, Mary had seemed so commonplace, so well known.  It seemed everybody in Catholic grade schools had Mary as their name or middle name.  I had wanted something different, but as I grew, I learned the value of the name. Mary became a role model for me, especially when my children arrived.

Names have been given to me for the most part.  Patricia Marie was given to me at my birth, shortened to Patty by my family, Fatty Patty by my brothers, besides the aforementioned PattyNickNack.  My high school boy friend called me Tricia, a term of endearment when on good terms, but Pat when upset with me.

It occurs to me that the only time I chose a name was at my confirmation.  I chose the name Theresa, thinking of the Little Flower, though primarily because I liked it.  As an adult I discovered Big Theresa, Teresa of Avila, and was quickly enamored with her practical yet mystical writing.  I found a role model and mentor through this saint.

What’s In a Name?

But what’s in a name?  A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, Shakespeare tells us.  I like my name.  I like that it is adaptable to my various moods and life stages, unlike others who don’t want anyone messing with their names.

“It’s one thing that is mine and can’t be taken away from me,” an elderly woman I visited explained when I dropped the Lou off her name, Abby Lou.  Life had taken so much from her over the years.  She would have no shortened version.

We have a tendency to like to give people names; it’s a way of showing affection or a bond.  It can also show you belong to a certain “in-group,” like knowing the password for a secret club.  Children routinely give each other nicknames, sometimes affectionately, other times with the meanness of childhood.

Name Changes

God has no qualms about messing with our names.  God routinely changed names of those He had called.  A name change often marked a life change or conversion. God changed Abram’s name to Abraham, Jacob to Israel, Simon became Peter, and Saul became Paul.

As a child I was Patty.  When I went to college, I wanted to put childish things behind so I changed my name to the serious, gender neutral, sexually ambiguous, Pat. Practical Pat I was.  I ventured into places my female counterparts didn’t dare.  I attended Vicariate meetings where I was the sole woman amidst a room full of priests and deacons.

As I got older, I decided to reclaim my femininity with Patricia.  Patricia–patrician, of noble birth and bearing.  I liked the sound of that.  No-one would mistake Patricia for a male based solely on the name.  No more jokes about the tele-evangelist Pat Robertson. 

“You look different on TV.”

“Yes, the camera adds ten pounds.”

And so my name has changed as I have changed. 

Coming Full Circle

When I needed an email address and found that probertson and every variation thereof had already been taken, I went back to my childhood nick names.  And so, I’ve come full circle.  Perhaps there shall be more name changes as I continue to grow and change, perhaps not.