Bargaining with God
When you marry later in life, you know the shelf-life on your marriage is limited. Fifty years – nah. Twenty-five – maybe. Ten years – yes. And so, I started bargaining with God for time.
Bargaining with God
I’ve always been rather namby-pamby when it came to bargaining with God. I rarely did it and if I did, it was always, “if it be your will.” I would hesitantly ask for what I wanted, then quickly add – if it be your will. Your will, not mine. I figured I couldn’t go wrong as long as I was trying to do God’s will. My own will just got me in trouble.
I might try to bargain with God over my writing. Give it one more year and if I don’t see any results, I would stop and use that time elsewhere in service to you, I would say. If it be your will that I write, give me a sign. Then the year would pass with no results but I kept writing. I guess I wasn’t serious when I told God I would stop. I kept writing because … well, I loved it and so couldn’t stop.
But with age I am becoming bolder in my bargains with God. I don’t have a lot of time to waste waiting for answers that don’t come. When I got married, I told God, give me ten good years with this man and that would be enough. Anything more would be a bonus. But when those ten years came and went, I decided to ask for ten more. If ten years were good, twenty would be even better. Or maybe even twenty-five.
Becoming Bold
On a recent trip when my husband and I both came down with bad colds the night before our flights home, I listened to my husband cough and prayed. When you have COPD, a simple cold can be enough to send you to the emergency room. We had already had this happen on two other trips. Just get us home safely, that’s all I ask, I told God. Then I will be able to handle whatever you throw at us. This prayer was answered and we made it back to our own beds.
But then, once home in bed, listening to my husband cough, again I prayed. Not tonight, Lord. Don’t send us on a trip to the emergency room tonight. Let me get a good night’s sleep then I will be able to handle whatever I have to tomorrow. But not tonight. This prayer too was answered.
And so, I am emboldened to ask for what I want. I’m not afraid to haggle. Like Abraham bargaining with God over the state of Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen. 18:16-33), I keep asking for more. I know that one day the time will be up, but until then, I keep asking.
What about you? Have you bargained with God? And if so, what has been the result?
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