The Many Faces of Community
Psalm 133 tells us, “How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity! It is like precious oil poured on the head, running down on the beard, running down on Aaron’s beard, down on the collar of his robe. It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore.” How pleasant indeed. Over the course of my life, I’ve experienced many faces of community and have learned to value all of them.
Peace Community
M. Scott Peck in his book, The Different Drum: Community Making and Peace, writes about a particular type of intentional community; one where members share on a deep level and work out their differences. There’s nothing quite like this experience. Once you’ve experienced it, you don’t want to live without it, Peck tells us. I experienced such a community while involved in the peace movement, forty years. It was a wonderful experience, not easily replicated.
We shared our live stories and our commitment to making a difference, trying to bring God’s peace to a troubled world. We prayed together and participated in acts of civil disobedience together, risking our lives for what we believed in. All decisions were made by consensus, a slow process where everyone had to be okay with what was decided. It was a small group, under ten, which made this possible.
When I chose to move on, taking a position in ministry and starting a family, I missed not just the individual members, but the whole experience of sharing deeply, working out differences, and consensus decision making. I looked for it but wasn’t able to find it. I found other forms of community, equally valuable, although different.
Church Community
My church community does not give me the same level of intimacy as this earlier community. That’s not possible with large numbers of people. And when you consider the larger church community that I’m part of, the Catholic Church, the communion of saints, impossible.
But within my church community I find people who share certain core beliefs even if we don’t agree on everything. The differences are often areas of growth for me; God’s way of expanding my “box.” There is a power in being part of a larger community, joining together in prayer. I love the feeling of being united with people who came before me in the faith, as well as the many people who come to church each week. It remains a powerful, if not intimate, community for me.
Work Community
Another of the many faces of community is the work community. If we are lucky, we find friends at work, but that isn’t a requirement for getting the job done. I’ve learned to value diversity of ideas at workplaces. They challenge me to grow and open me up to new ways of thinking. As great as it is to be surrounded by like-minded people, I don’t like to be insulated from other ways of thinking or seeing the world. The world is so much bigger than any of us can imagine. I like being challenged beyond my own limited vision.
Family Community
Family is uniquely suited for community. How wonderful indeed when brothers and sisters live together in harmony, as Psalm 133 tells us. Unfortunately, that is far more rare than many would like to admit. Far too often families are torn apart by jealousy and pride. Just look at the first family, Adam and Eve and their sons. Nothing angers us more than our family members. The feelings we hold for our family members are some of the strongest. That’s why some of the most dangerous calls for police to respond to are those of domestic violence.
No one can break our hearts like our children, parents, brothers or sisters, spouses, the people who live closest to us. Yet, without them, our lives would be so lonely, bereft of the joy that love brings. It is so worth the struggle of learning to live together in peace, accepting our idiosyncrasies.
Small Groups
Equally valuable are the small groups of friends that we gather around us. What would we do without friends? They form a community of people who love us without the emotional baggage of our biological families. We chose our friends, unlike our family members, church and work community. But even within groups of friends there are challenges as we work out our differences and try to find time for each other amid the competing demands of each day.
World Community/Society
We all are part of a wider world community/society. There is no escape even if we move to the backwoods and eschew the use of internet and all social media. This can be one of the most difficult communities to deal with, and yet it is essential. We do not live in a vacuum. There are days when I sit in my backyard, watching birds fly overhead, feeling the breeze as it blows through the trees, basking in the sun, and I wonder – who am I to be so blessed? Why am I so fortunate to live where I am while others struggle to provide food for their families? Not easy questions to answer.
We are impacted by what happens elsewhere throughout the world, in Africa, Asia, Australia, South America. And what we do has an impact on those areas. We are all subjected to the effects of climate change and disregard for life. The destruction in the Ukraine has an impact on the whole world for we are one global society. We are not able to leave our world, so we need to find ways to create a better, safer world, one that we are proud to pass on to the next generation.
Toxic Communities
Unfortunately, not all communities are good for us. Some are toxic, unhealthy for humans. These include families where abuse and disregard for each member are present; workplaces where profits are put above the welfare of the worker or where lies and slander are spread at the water cooler; church members subject to abuse by those in positions of leadership that hinder the spiritual growth of their members; and cults where the leader holds absolute power over members, determining what they are to believe and punishing those who differ in their beliefs. If you are in a toxic community, you need to find ways to leave, and take others with you if you can.
What I Have Learned from the Many Faces of Community
What have I learned from these many faces of community? Community is essential. We are not meant to be alone. We long for people who know us, accept us, even love us for who we are. People who don’t demand that we be someone other than our true selves and are okay with differences. When this is found it is highly valued. That’s why toxic communities are so harmful. They betray the potential and trust of the individuals who find themselves locked into them.
Other than toxic communities, each of the communities have value. One is not more important than the other. Much as you may want the intimacy of the small community that I found in my Peace community and that Scott Peck writes about, it isn’t the only form of community. It can take a lot of time and energy to maintain such communities, energy that you might want to place elsewhere. I don’t want to share my life story with everyone I meet. I do share our common humanity. Sometimes that is enough.
Sometimes we place too much on one particular community to fill of our needs. Marriages can suffer from and fail under these high expectations. No one community can fill all of our needs. And so, it is good to be part of many communities.
What has been your experience of community? I’d love to hear from you.
Sign up to follow this blog and and receive a free copy of Still Dancing, the second book in my Dancing through Life Series. click here to sign up
(Please note – in order to help ensure you receive email with link to new book, please add my email, patricia@patriciamrobertson.com to your contact list. Some servers are quick to send newsletters to spam or other boxes.)
Leave a Reply