Taming the Green-Eyed Monster
The celebration of St. Patrick’s Day and all things green approaches, as well as March Madness. I’m a Michigan State Spartans fan – go green! But I have found myself reflecting on a less positive green — jealousy, the green-eyed monster.
Jealousy and a Critical Spirit
Many years ago, while a mother of young children and serving as pastor to a church, the members of the Women’s Guild had invited a speaker. I attended the event and found that the green-eyed monster was crouching at the door, like Satan in Genesis 4:7. The speaker was very good, engaging with a pertinent message. I found myself looking for reasons to criticize. The source of this criticism? Jealousy. I examined why and realized I was jealous because she was doing something I wanted to do – being a guest speaker at events. I could do as well or better than she did I told myself.
When I examined this further, I recognized that while I could do that, I wasn’t in the position to do it. My children were still young, and I wasn’t willing to take time from them that would be required to promote myself, get bookings, prepare for them and then travel wherever I needed to go for the event. No, there would be time for this later, I told myself.
I have since had the opportunity to preach on a regular basis through my past position as chaplain at a retirement community. I also taught classes on the college level which allowed me to teach and interact with students in a classroom setting. While I enjoyed each of these, I recognize how much they took out of me, being the introvert that I am.
The Mouths of the People
Those days are gone. Sometimes I miss them. I miss the interaction with students, answering questions, posing questions for them as well. I miss the fun of speaking to groups of people and knowing they are listening and responding to what I’m saying. But I’m reminded of the saying from my early years as a pastor – “If you want to have the people’s ears, you have to endure their mouths.” So true!
When a friend posted about a negative email she had received filled with criticism, not delivered in a kind or constructive fashion, my first thought was jealousy. This person was jealous and thus critical. This may or may not be the case. However, it reminded me how anyone who is in a leadership position is an easy target for jealous tongues.
Taming the Green-Eyed Monster
I learned many years ago to watch for signs of jealousy and to guard my tongue. I’m still prone to jealousy. That hasn’t changed. But when the green-eyed monster approaches, I ask myself, is there something unlived inside me? An ability that hasn’t been nurtured or allowed to grow that is trying to break out? And then I ask what I need to do to nurture this ability. Finally, I question whether I am willing to do this. I wasn’t willing to expend the time needed to promote myself as a speaker when my children were young. And now that I’m older, I don’t want to expend the energy. And I don’t want to be the target of other people’s critical tongues and jealousy. I’m content as I am.
Then I chase the green-eyed monster away. When Jesus encountered evil spirits, he named them and sent them on their way. I name jealousy for what it is and send it away.
So, this St. Patrick’s Day, lets wear the many shades of green, but watch out for the green-eyed monster!
What do you do when you experience jealousy? How do you tame the green-eyed monster?
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